i hate sharing information about my life, for some reason it makes my skin thin and i feel extremely vulnerable ... this probably explains the vagueness of my blog.

but i learned something extremely valuable the past year i need to share.

i am not going to go into details but the girl with brunette hair, that dreams of traveling the world every two minutes was no longer there. it just took me a while to figure it out.


you could say i was numb to the world and people around me.


you may remember this post.
the year leading up to this post was amazing, i loved almost every second of it. but i just never realized how lost i was getting and how confused i was along the way.

then two months before that post it hit me how lost i had become. i laid in bed and cried myself to sleep almost every night, and i'm not a crier. (let me tell you the only time i had ever cried myself to sleep before was when Riley my beautiful dog died over two years ago)

Something wasn't right, i new i wasn't happy and i had become so lost in the maze of my life i didn't even remember what it was like to truly be myself. I forgot what hope, happiness, and laughter meant to me, i was lost in someone else's definition.

then one morning i woke up before the sun and i felt that that the air was different, than ever before. (sometimes you just know your panda express fortune cookie, that promise change, is about the come true.)

this summer has seeped 
into every crack of my soul.

i didn't realize how broken i was until i was free, until the cracks started to be filled.

and thank the heavens for the seeping because

i found myself. 

i found hope.  

and i am surrounded by more love than i thought possible.

i don't know what i did right but i am surrounded by amazing people. they leave me feeling real, raw, and boundless.

just like the people around you should.

every morning i wake up before the sun and know that the brunette girl is back. 

Ladies and Gentlemen

Lucy Schwartz

she is too good not to share.

Solana Beach

July 2013

Nada hay absoluto
Todo se cambia
todo se mueve,
todo revoluciona,
todo vuela y se va.
____________________

Nothing is absolute
everything changes,
everything moves,
everything revolutionizes,
all flies and goes.

-Frida Kahlo

The Golden City by the Bay

I recently took a trip to San Francisco. 

Ya know just a little celebration to myself for finishing my sophomore year of college.

It was incredible to say the least.

Every single-tiny-inch of it was perfect.

The architecture, the art, the flowers, the food, the people..

and don't even get me started on Sausilito.. I will live there one day.

#bestchickenburritoever

#cousinmuffinliveson

#ithinkimightturnintoodwalla

#rapeyweekend

#bermesefoodisthebestthingsinceslicedbread

Love that Golden City.

Xoxo,

Nich

Forever Evolving

fear is a lie.

Every year I get a terrible case of spring fever..

it came early this year.

what did i do today?

lets see..

went to class

went to work

took my first accounting test

 blair my bike had a seizure and completely broke down

had the most delightful conversations with Dad and Si

I laid on temple beach basking in the Hawaiian sun

I longboarded barefoot to chev with stac for melon slurpees

then to the temple and got blister battle wounds

sat on the tower admiring the beauty of the world

went on a tiny boat all the way to peanut island 

snorkeled in the clearest shark infested water I've ever seen

sat in that little boat all through golden hour

watched the sunset from the middle of the ocean

watched the rainbow sky of pastels fade from the horizon

met locals that fed me and Stac some type of sea slugs right out of the water

they now call us locals we graduated the haole name

 busted my butt with homework after returning from our 2 hour boat ride

got a terrible case of spring fever that I don't believe will ever go away

and now I am writing about this flawless day

listening to the beatles--it just got even better. 

xoxo,

neesh

the guava lie.

You should about all things be glad and young

For if you're young, whatever life you wear

it will become you; and if you are glad

whatever's living will yourself become.

-e.e cummings

create magic.

Finals are finally done.

I have arrived home.. and nothing has ever felt better. Its perfect.

I learned more this past week than I could have ever imagined.

.....

Flying is a spiritual journey for me--every time.

For some reason I am cursed with never being able to sleep on any plane, 

the movie options are not even considerable, 

and the motion sickness 

doesn't allow me to catch up in my latest reads.

But i wouldn't have it any other way.

......

Today I traveled over 3000 miles. 

I started my journey with my friend ryan.

We drove the beautiful coast of oahu, it was flawless.

.......

Then I flew out of Oahu during the day, this is just about the most perfect thing i can image.

The insanely blue and green water, the sand bars, and reef. 

The lord loves us, he totally does.

.......

Flying over the pacific ocean during sunset, 

without fail teaches me 

more than I could ever learn during a six hour flight.

Let me just tell you the sky was on fire.

It wasn't just a pretty sunset.. the sky was red, not a sunset coralish red, blood red.

it slowly faded into an orange I have never seen before..

then into yellow like the sun, into the deep blue which faded into the stars.

I have never seen anything more perfect 

and

 I have never felt closer to the stars.

.....

I could go on forever about the clouds,

the sun,

the stars,

and the birds eye of L.A.

 and Las Vegas,

but from this is learned something.

......

Magic is real.

It doesn't just exist.

It is something we make.

.....

Magic happens ever day and we have the dexterity to live in magic and create magic around us

it's all just about your view.

Live in magic.

xoxo,

neesh

help the world, see the world.

proposal: help the world and see the world.


the other day i was talking to my friend lauren about how we want to help the world and see the world. i can't imagine a better combination.


nothing is more fasinating than seeing the beautiful world around us, being in new places, new situations, with new people.


the thought of being in a new city-- where you know nobody and have no idea where anything is. mmmm it's perfect.


and nothing could feel better than serving, lauren is a good one to learn that from.


one beach clean up at a time, one stop and serve project later, one piece of plastic to recycle , one benefit concert planned, we will and can make a difference. 


alot of people probably believe that I am just a naive ninteen year old girl that thinks i know way more than I actually do..  fact this that might be true.


judge me not. i get called a hippie alot, i get called young-more than ever, i get called "cute little girl" which isn't exactly the description of choice, i burn incense probably to much, try to get my roommates to meditate with me more than a normal person should, but through this all I do know this- I believe that I am capable. 


I know that right now isn't my time to see the world. But it will come. for now i am just going to help the world and be perfectly content with where my father in heaven has me.  And lauren one day we will see the world. and we will forever help the world. 


just by getting out of bed in the morning we make an impact on the world. no matter how little or how small our impact is we can help. 


love you lauren.


xoxo
neesh

thanks of giving.

this is a few days late but I want to give thanks to the world..

I want to give thanks to my family for giving me the world

to my friends for giving me laughter,

 to hawaii for giving me -- me, 

to the gospel for happiness, 

to my father in heaven for my life,

to the wind that brings change,

 to the sky for the mystical clouds,

 to the sunset that never fails,

to the moon and the stars for shinning,

to the beautiful world that surround me and the stunning people i meet everyday,

here is thanks to the world.

xoxo,

neesh