i hate sharing information about my life, for some reason it makes my skin thin and i feel extremely vulnerable ... this probably explains the vagueness of my blog.

but i learned something extremely valuable the past year i need to share.

i am not going to go into details but the girl with brunette hair, that dreams of traveling the world every two minutes was no longer there. it just took me a while to figure it out.


you could say i was numb to the world and people around me.


you may remember this post.
the year leading up to this post was amazing, i loved almost every second of it. but i just never realized how lost i was getting and how confused i was along the way.

then two months before that post it hit me how lost i had become. i laid in bed and cried myself to sleep almost every night, and i'm not a crier. (let me tell you the only time i had ever cried myself to sleep before was when Riley my beautiful dog died over two years ago)

Something wasn't right, i new i wasn't happy and i had become so lost in the maze of my life i didn't even remember what it was like to truly be myself. I forgot what hope, happiness, and laughter meant to me, i was lost in someone else's definition.

then one morning i woke up before the sun and i felt that that the air was different, than ever before. (sometimes you just know your panda express fortune cookie, that promise change, is about the come true.)

this summer has seeped 
into every crack of my soul.

i didn't realize how broken i was until i was free, until the cracks started to be filled.

and thank the heavens for the seeping because

i found myself. 

i found hope.  

and i am surrounded by more love than i thought possible.

i don't know what i did right but i am surrounded by amazing people. they leave me feeling real, raw, and boundless.

just like the people around you should.

every morning i wake up before the sun and know that the brunette girl is back. 

May. 

            

 

It amazes me how many times I can go to the same places on this island again and again and still be amazed. 

But then I realize that I will probably never get over this place
and that God truly created perfection--thanks may.


Siera the two weeks were perfect. 


And congrats to you and Adam you are perfect for each other..
flying three thousand miles to purpose.. you got a keeper.


Tide pools thanks for making me feel like a mermaid.


Carnival thanks for the smell of deep-fried-instant-clog-your-arteries-cholesterol-rising food and ring of fire I feel amer-i-can.


Maunawilli, Sacred, and Laie Falls you were a pleasuree. 
Strawberry guavas anyone?


Lani Kai can I just roll around in your floury sand all day? Thank youu.


T-bay surf in the rain my favorite ever.


Makapu soaking you up and definitely going back for seconds.. well actually fiftieths.


Thanks canal girls the best thing in the world is waking up to you every morning and seeing you last thing at night.


Floating Lanterns congrats you amazed me, flower gleam and float?

xoxo,
Neesh

The Golden City by the Bay

I recently took a trip to San Francisco. 

Ya know just a little celebration to myself for finishing my sophomore year of college.

It was incredible to say the least.

Every single-tiny-inch of it was perfect.

The architecture, the art, the flowers, the food, the people..

and don't even get me started on Sausilito.. I will live there one day.

#bestchickenburritoever

#cousinmuffinliveson

#ithinkimightturnintoodwalla

#rapeyweekend

#bermesefoodisthebestthingsinceslicedbread

Love that Golden City.

Xoxo,

Nich

inhale love exhale hate.

when I was little I use to go to my grandmothers house alot.

she had a glass box and inside was a glass tree covered in butterflies..

that's not even the best part; it was fiberoptic.

yes... fiberoptic i tell you. (thanks for helping find the word tay)

and yes.. she still does have it.

The other day I was on a early morning drive to Honolulu

the sky was exactly the same as that glass display.

the clouds were fiberoptic..

every color I can imagine surrounded the clouds as the sun rose above the horizon.

the colors of the sky sparkled on the turquoise salt water.

i was pretty convinced the ocean was make out of sparkles because of the glistening waters. 

and for that moment I am pretty sure 

the whole world stopped around me.

stopped spinning, stopped moving, stopped anything in its path because it was exactly 

what the world needed.

exactly what I needed.

so thank you grandma Marlene.
thank you endless ocean of turquoise glitter

and thank you morning skies.. 

you healed me.

xoxo,

neesh